Thursday, October 24, 2013
A Word For All Seasons
This four letter word, in my very humble opinion, is the most versatile in the English language. It can be used as a verb, adjective, noun, pronoun, or adverb. Also, when in non-English speaking country's, should you add words to it like go, you, or yourself, everybody understands exactly what you are saying. This English word is universally understood, especially when accompanied by certain hand gestures.
If you drop this word, like a bomb, within ear-shot of a Church Lady, he/she may go out of his or her way to tell you that you have a future career opportunity in hell. These same misguided souls will tell you the same if you are sporting tattoos. Why are these people so upset? Why are they concerned about you? The answer is simple. They are People of the Book.
This book in known as the bible and contains all of their answers. It is a compilation of oddities and absurdities written by various humans over the course of many centuries. But the People of the Book give all glory and credit to their god, who at the very least we are told, "inspired" the people who wrote the stuff. Well, the various authors must have been tripping out on LSD; their god comes off as a spoiled 13 year old brat or an absolute lunatic.
The radical fringe of the People of the Book are happy to tell you all that you are doing wrong - they can quote it chapter and verse. Also, do not be surprised if one of them tells you that Gandhi is going to hell. And, if you question their reasoning, you will promptly be told that you are an insolent sod and do not have the right to doubt their god's "love" for you even though it smacks of sadism. Their god is, after all, all merciful.
Fortunately, there is a solution. Using the Word For All Seasons, tell them to go fuck themselves. That they will understand. However, if you say it with a smile on your face, they may take it as a term of endearment. If you have read this and are offended, you really need to lighten up.
Copyright @2013 Terry Unger
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