Thanksgiving

In the USA, the 4th Thursday of every November is known as Thanksgiving Day.  On that special day, family and friends gather around a wonderful meal and give thanks for all that they have.  When the meal is finished, the gathering shifts to around the television, where football is watched and some pleasant inebriation takes place.  The following day is known as Black Friday.  On this day, many of the same friends and family that gathered the day before to give thanks, will beat the hell out of others to buy some junk that they think they really need.  We truly are a consumer/producer nation.

The retailers love Black Friday because the buying frenzy increases their profits, and increased profits help boost their stock offering on Wall Street.  The media loves Black Friday because it gets paid big bucks to advertise all the goofy stuff that the retailers have to sell to the consumer-crazed public.  The media's profits also have their 'profit effect' on Wall Street.  And all of this is fueled by people buying things they really can't afford.  A step back needs to be taken.

A step back to reconsider the differences between need and want.  Need covers what is necessary to survive and to get by, with some elements of comfort tossed in as garnish (in some cases, folks in this condition have to get by without the 'garnish' ).  Want is something that goes well above need.  In some cases, want is buying something because you can, or buying something to show up the neighbors.  These simple explanations vary from person to person and family to family.  There are no cookie cutter formulas, no one size fits all solutions to pinpoint want and need.  But when you send your kid to a swanky private school to show up the neighbors and have trouble making the mortgage payment, some adjustments should be made.

A thought or two along these lines before purchasing anything is not a bad idea.  Who knows, maybe saner holidays will prevail or, at the very least, you can avoid taking a hit in the head at Walmart by granny and her cane.

                                             Copyright @2012 Terry Unger

Author's Note:  This piece original posted on 11/20/2012.  In the last two weeks, the mega-retailers have announced that they will be open on Thanksgiving Day.  One of these retailers mentioned that their customers wanted them to be open on Thanksgiving Day.  Really?  I think that it has more to do with their bottom line; families be damned.  Somehow, I do not believe that Norman Rockwell would find that decent to paint.


                 





 

The Anguish Of Not Knowing

The woulda, coulda, shoulda that lives in the back of our minds, born out of regret.  Many of us stumble through life wondering about our past; what would have happened if I had done this, should I have done that, etc.  And the worst, having these thoughts on our death-beds.  Well, the past is a moot point; it's gone, over, finished.  We cannot go back and fix any perceived wrong that we think we've created.  It's done.  But, we need to know that what we have done in the past does have its effects within our present.  Understanding this gives us a leg up, and that is a big deal.  Also, it should teach us that what we do in the present weaves our future - a point that should not be forgotten.

It does not matter what we do; something or nothing has its effects in our lives.  Yes, even non-action, a pacifistic way of life (not wanting to get involved, going with the flow, let somebody else do it, living like a drone, etc.), generates its effects; think about it.  History, both global and personal are full of examples.  So, monitoring our behavior should be an important thing for us to do.  But don't stop loving, don't stop giving, don't stop living a life of virtue; don't live a life hiding in a corner waiting to die.

Just don't live a life full of regret.  If you want to climb a mountain, do it.  If you want to find your true love, go for it.  If you want to jump out of an airplane with a parachute, happy landings.  If you want to find Moby Dick, knock yourself out.  If you want to pedal your bicycle around the world, do it, just be sure to carry extra tires!

When it comes to doing things, it does not matter how old you are - make a list and work to make it happen.  When you are at the point of passing from this world into the next, do so without regret and the anguish of not knowing.  Do so with the thoughts of, yeah, I did that and so much more.

                                                  Copyright @2012 Terry Unger    



    

When Change Has To Be.... Back To the Future

The clarion bells of reason were drown out when the bread and circus's appeared as freebies for all who wanted them.  And, the 'show' continues.  So many people want all the free stuff that they can get their hands on, but are not willing to even give a fart in return; it's mine - I am entitled to it, so give it to me!  But nothing in life is free - somebody has to pay for it.  Years ago a wrote a piece based on this previous fact , and it was in great detail (I hammered away at a lot of BS).  A young professional who had read the piece asked me what was its' purpose.  My response (and the total monograph) dealt with what I thought was the needed corrections in our social fabric.  His response was that you cannot complain about something without offering solutions.  That's true, but I had the solutions in my work and I pointed them out to him.  Rather abruptly I was told that those solutions would not work in our world today.  At that point I had to wonder if the man really read my work or just focused on the title.  To me, the solutions would work, no question.  So, I had to ask him why he thought that way.  His response was a blather of bull pucky.

My solutions involved sacrifices.  Not sacrifices that involved giving up a job or selling off property, or even cutting off an appendage (that would be really gross), or living like people did hundreds of years ago.  Nothing as drastic as that.  My solution involved a sacrifice, a change of a person's current mindset and world view; to give those up in exchange for something better.  Too much of our social fabric, I told the young man, focused on the possession and the obtaining of things.  This is the basis of the idea that .... the one who has the most toys at death wins.  That, I said, needed to change.  His response was that I was out of touch with the modern world.  My counter argument went back to my monograph.

I replied that the virtues listed in my work, courage, discipline  and truth, honor, fidelity, and self-reliance, hospitality, industriousness, and perseverance needed to be embraced by all.  It was, I told him, a positive moral and ethical solution that would correct many our our current social short comings.  He then laughed at me and not only repeated his previous comments that I was out of touch, but added that I must be mentally ill.

Well, if I am mentally ill for trying to embrace these nine virtues and make them work in my life, so be it; the other path is just not worth it.  By the way, did I mention that that young professional was a lawyer?

                                                 copyright @2012 Terry Unger

        

What's the Price?

You may not have said, "What's the price of that," but probably like me, have said, "How much is it," or, "How much does it cost?"  All of us have asked that question in one manner or another.  And, when we heard the answer, we either liked it or not.  Depending on how deep our pockets were at the time, and how deep our desire was, we either left it on the shelf or bought it.  When it comes to material things, price fluctuates with supply and demand; remember the Cabbage Patch Dolls craze?  But, what is the price of a man?

In old northern Europe, among some of the Celtic tribes and especially among the Germanic/Norse, there was a concept known as 'wergeld,' which literally means, 'man price.'  If a man's life was taken away from him, either accidentally or intentionally, and before personal vengeance took place, the guilty party was brought before an annual council known as the 'All Thing.'  In regards to matters such as this, the aggrieved party could bring their case to All Thing for redress, in a similar way that in our time, people can file a wrongful death suit in a court of law against the accused.

At All Thing, the decedent's life was examined:  what was his standing in the community and how did he contribute to the overall welfare, was he a family man, what was his occupation, etc.  From questions like and similar to those, it appears that a determination was attempted to be made, to gauge what else the decedent could have accomplished if allowed to enjoy a full life; family was a major concern for those ancient peoples (the liability put on the defendant from the decision was known as shild).  In comparison, in our world today, we have something known as, 'to make whole.'  This is an insurance concept that can be readily seen in automobile and homeowners insurance, and if properly applied, life insurance.  In a wrongful death lawsuit, if the defendant is found guilty, the judge and jury will attempt to reach some kind of monetary award for the aggrieved party.

During the days of All Thing, sometimes a decree of death or banishment was given to the defendant.  But in many cases, the aggrieved party was awarded money, land, cattle, and horses (not necessarily in that order, all at once, or all of those four).  It's not to much of a stretch of the imagination as to what the decree could have been for the defendant if he was dirt poor.  In cases like those, an option previously not mentioned was indentured servitude; the defendant spent the remainder of his life as a virtual slave to the decedent's family.

In the present, just as in the past, people understand that you cannot replace a life that is gone.  As with our present day insurance concepts, and with our ancestor's concept of wergeld and shild, we attempt to 'make whole' for the decedent's survivors.  But, it falls short, as it should.

In all of our wars and human tragedies, brave men and women have lost their lives so that we could go on living.  On 9/11/2001, hundreds of New York City police and firemen died trying to save others, as did the passengers on flight 93.  And recently during the debacle known as Hurricane Sandy, we've heard of police, firemen and regular people risking it all to bring others to safety.  On even sadder notes, we've heard of people murdered for a damned cell phone.  In all of these cases, even the ancient ones, no amount of compensation, dollars or otherwise, can replace life lost; life is priceless.

Honoring those who have given the ultimate price with our thoughts. prayers, and a lifted glass just may be the best that we can do.

                                               Copyright @2012 Terry Unger

A Relic

The other day I was slapped in the face with a startling revelation:  I am a pre-geezer who is out of touch with the modern world.  That slap happened when my wife and I joined a few of our younger friends for drinks.  At 9:00PM, the pub was full of people, members of the younger generation.  When we settled in, we tried not to gawk.  Everybody in the pub, with the exception of my wife and I, plus the two bartenders, had smart phones in their hands.  Those folks were either texting someone else, surfing the Internet, or taking/making a call.  The only people who talked to another person were my wife and I; we talked to each other.  And, those people with the phones were not huddled off in a corner by themselves.  They were in groups, a drink in one hand and operating a smart phone with the other.  During the time we spent in that pub, we noticed very little real social interaction between people, like speaking to another, with the required exception needed for ordering drinks.

Can anyone please tell me why people need to be so 'connected?'  Why must people check their e-mails and text messages every other minute?  What the hell is so important on the Internet that it cannot wait until tomorrow?  Do people realize that today fine dining does not include a damned phone ringing every ten minutes?  It appears to me that people spend so much time being 'connected,' that we miss out on real people to people, person to person contact.

If one day the lights went out and all the batteries were dead, what the hell would most of those 'connected' people do?  I remember life very well before all this 'connectedness.'  I remember because I was there, and could easily do it again if the need arose.  But, I guess that's what makes me a 'relic.'

                                                Copyright @2012 Terry Unger  

Veteran's Day

Today is Friday, 11/08/2013.  Monday, we officially celebrate Veteran's Day.  Since 1776, men and women have sacrificed to keep us free.  Most are/were far away from their loved ones, missing birthdays and holidays.  Some gave up their limbs while others have laid down their lives so that we can speak and think as we like, and to worship as we want.  So often when a person is born into our free culture, those freedoms are taken for granted, and the thought that they cannot be lost is somewhere in their consciousness.  That is false and naive thinking.  People have died to preserve those freedoms, and more stand in line to keep it that way.  Why?  Because there are people and nations who still want to take away our way of life.  Chew on that as you spend hours playing video games and texting silly thoughts to your friends, then take a moment and thank a Vet.  

                                                 Copyright @2013 Terry Unger

On Friends, Family, And Getting Back On A Road Less Traveled

There are those people out there who have rather quickly foisted the title of "friend" upon your shoulders.  They number among those of whom "another friend" brought with them to some sort of social gathering you had the unfortunate opportunity of hosting.  Both of these types of friends are leeches; they came for the free booze.  And, they will take from you whatever they can and will give nothing in return.  When you need a real friend, when you have hit the wall full speed, those "friends" are lost in the mists of, " I don't know you....I cannot be bothered now."  Make no mistake - these are the people who will go to your funeral, not to pay their respects, but to freely eat and drink at your wake.  We cannot choose our family but can choose our friends.  Chose wisely; it's not like quickly choosing a cold domestic beer to quench your thirst.  Rather, it's more like choosing a fine wine to accompany an awesome meal.

The days of cementing a contract on a handshake have passed through the cracks about the same time the phrase, " You want fries with that," became a part of our national lexicon.  The times we live in have taken away the trust of friendship and replaced it with the art of making the deal - at all costs.  And, this attitude has extended into the heart of the family.  It sure as hell wasn't always like this.

Back in the day when we used rotary telephones (remember those things? Throw them against a concrete wall and they still worked.  No batteries required.), telephone booths (no grasshopper, they were not just something for Superman to change in), and held a healthy respect for the other guy and our parents, it was a rare thing for someone to get shafted over a few bucks.  Yes, it happened but again, it was rare.  Out of respect for the other guy, people just did not do that kind of stuff.  Now it happens over and over again in the workplace, the neighborhood, and the family.

The Christian Right talks a lot about family values.  But in my opinion, some of those "values" appear to foster what was written about above.  Maybe because those values are man-made interpretations of what is supposedly the divine word of their God.  When put to use, a wink of an eye can twist them to bring about some bent human desires.  And when a book that contains the supposed infallible word of a deity is used as a balance scale, it's easy to load up the other side and be justified with the result.  Being the chosen people of a book must be a relief for them - no need to think on their own.  Just saying.  At least when we were using rotary phones, respecting the other guy was something that was inherently understood and not something that we needed to be reminded about, like in our times today.

It's time for us to get on the road that takes us back to mutual respect.  This does not mean that we should rid ourselves of our current technology, like some would have us do.  What I am trying to say is that we need to house-clean our minds and make some serious attitude adjustments.  Along the way, we can re-discover courage honor, and truth.  We will learn industriousness, genuine hospitality, and fidelity.  Moreover, we will be filled with self-reliance, discipline  and have the perseverance to meet and finish any of life's challenges.  Food, clothing, and shelter lets us survive; we need more.  To thrive we need the above nine virtues.  Then again, maybe, a handshake can bind a contract.     

                                                   Copyright @2012 Terry Unger