Monday, April 23, 2012

Real Men Don't Need Instructions

Originally, this essay was penned in jest, to make a point; it did.  Those points are still valid today.

                                               Real Men Don’t Need Instructions

I have a favorite tee-shirt.  On the front are the printed words, “Real Men Don’t Need Instructions.”  I wear this shirt for my daily workouts at the local gym.  Recently, when in route to the gym and while wearing the shirt, a late thirties-something, politically correct female read the inscription and curtly told me, “All men need instructions.”  When I countered with a, “Excuse me?” the statement was repeated with the implied voice inflection that I interpreted as this:  Men can’t do anything right without somebody or something (a woman) pulling them along by the nose.  Unfortunately, for some men, that is correct but, I love a challenge.
            In this wacky, politically correct world that we live in men are not permitted to be men. Within the last fifty years real men are looked upon as archaic and outdated; not needed or wanted in this “modern era.”  Traditional manly virtues are considered obtuse and therefore not required.  Overall, many men have left various social and political pressures emasculate them, and that has created a nation of eunuchs.  But thank the gods, not all hope is lost.  Men have begun to reclaim their masculinity, and what it means to be a man.  Below I’ve listed a few examples to identify “real men,” and this list can be used by those males who wish to become one.

1)      Real men know how to fish, hunt, and plant.  These activities give men the knowledge of where food comes from, thereby creating within them a deep respect for Nature; the deeper the respect for Nature the greater the ability for the man to understand himself.
2)      Real men know how to read and write, especially the Classics.
3)      Real men can add, subtract, multiply, and divide without the use of a handheld calculator. They understand what all these electronic marvels (i.e., the computer) really are; tools to be used to accomplish an end, not something that enslaves and dumbs down real knowledge.  Real men are not afraid to use their brains.
4)      Real men know the true meaning of courage.
5)      Real men know how to drive a nail, use a hand saw, and what end of a screwdriver is the “business end.”  Real men are not afraid to get their hands dirty.  Do not expect to find a real man getting a manicure. 
6)      Real men write poetry, even though it may sound silly to others.
7)      Real men know how to share “tears, beers, and fears” with friend(s).
8)      Real men know the difference between guilt, grief, and remorse and act accordingly.
9)      Real men respect and honor women.  They know a woman’s strength and do not fear it.  Real men welcome it. 
10)  Real men honor their oaths and commitments to the best of their ability.
11)  Real men engage in honest labor to earn their “daily bread.”
12)  Real men do not intentionally take advantage of others.
13)  Real men are comfortable “in their own skin” and have a healthy, positive opinion of themselves.
14)  Real men constantly seek knowledge, experience, and wisdom.  For them, that is a never ending journey.  Real men want to improve their lives and the lives of others.
15)  Real men find more beauty in a single sunrise and sunset then a dozen “sissified, politically correct male drones” will find in the Louvre.  Nature is a real queen. 
16)  Real men take care of themselves.  They understand the body-mind-spirit connection. Real men care for their body; it is the vehicle for experience.  They know the importance of diet, exercise, sleep, and moderating vices.  Real men are not drunks or gluttons. 
17)  Real men are knowledgeable of the world they live in and can hold an intelligent conversation on a variety of topics.
18)  Real men take responsibility for their words and deeds.  They understand that their actions can make or break them and act accordingly.  Be it for good or ill, real men embrace their fate as theirs and do not seek pity for something that they did that turned foul; they do not look for absolution outside of themselves.
19)  Real men are NOT Lemmings.  They are not moved by the latest fad or trend. Real men think for themselves.
20)  Real men know how to dress for any occasion. They do not wear their pants, belted, half-way down their ass exposing underwear that impedes forward movement.  Real men know how to properly wear a cap or hat.  Real men do not dress themselves like little boys.
21)  Real men can cook, clean, and thread a needle.
22)  Real men are comfortable celebrating their heritage.
23)  Real men are not afraid to speak out and stand up for a cause that they believe is just, even when the status quo tells them to sit down and shut up.
24)  Real men accept their life but are never satisfied, constantly seeking ways to improve it.
25)  Real men know the importance of some form of Divinity in their lives and find an expression that best suits them.
26)  Real men know that love evolves; it changes daily, like everything else in this world. Real men know that if all you have is “red hot monkey sex” going into a marriage, it will not last.   
27)  Real men do not boast or bluster of things that they cannot deliver; they carry within them a certain level of humility.
28)  Real men are generous to family and friends; they despise misers and thieves.
29)  Real men find truth, beauty, and life in simple things; things that do not have a price tag.
30)  Real men know the importance of family, kin, and ancestors, and revel in them.
31)  Real men finish what they start.

The above is a brief “Real Man I.D.” list. With some imagination you can add to it. So why is it that “Real Men Don’t Need Instructions?”   The answer should be glaringly apparent.  Real men know how, one way or another, to get the job done.  We just do it.  What are you waiting for?  And yes, this post will probably offend some of those politically correct eunuchs.  Too bad for them.    

                                                Copyright@2009 Terry Unger

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