When Your Accuser Is Right

A few days ago a posted to my blog something titled, When Your Accuser Is Wrong.  I poked fun, with good reason, at cyber-friends and how when on-line, many of them grow the cyber equivalent of "beer muscles."  And all so true.  But, we are neither invincible nor infallible; we are human, prone to errors, and one day, surprise surprise, we will die.  We make mistakes, errors in judgement, and flat out screw up.

Often, we make decisions based on all the available information that we can lay our hands on.  But here is the rub:  we ignore all that stuff that contradicts what we want to believe as true, that stuff that we use to base our decisions.  I am guilty of the same.  And to boot, we feel very smug and good about this platitude that we have created and hold dear.  Then, some guy comes out of left field and points out the errors in our decision/truth/platitude.

Of course, we do not like that when it happens; who the hell is this guy, we ask ourselves with righteous indignation.  It can be worse when it comes out of left field cyber-space.  At this point two things, in varying degrees, happen.  We politely ignore the intrusion into our personal bubble and/or we tell the interloper to piss off.  The second, we admit that we may have made a mistake and begin to look for the error; this move takes some humility.  In the ongoing discovery process, we may be faced with accepting some kind of failure:  the failure on our part of ignoring or completely disregarding all that stood in original opposition to our decision/truth.  Now, we stand face to face with our half-baked reasoning.  We can either correct our error and move on, or stick our heads in the sand, insisting that the righteousness  of our decision/truth is more than enough to know; righteousness is, ah, so smug.  In my opinion, this falls within the arena of faith and belief; having the faith to believe in something that cannot be proven.  No matter how many times we play dress-up with this stuff, the decision/truth is incomplete or flat out wrong.  We live in the 21st century, not the 7th or the 8th.  A courageous man will fix his errors.  Unfortunately, many people have a mainspring so tight that not even electric shock therapy can help them.  

                                                      Copyright @2013 Terry Unger                

The Love of a Dog

Everybody loves puppies.  They are soft, cuddly and lots of fun.  But, you cannot put a diaper on a puppy.  Puppies grow into adult dogs and they need our help.

When we take a canine into our home, they became a part of the family; only idiots chain them up outside.  Our dogs are not just pets, but members of our family.  Doggies cannot feed or water themselves without our help (unless or course, we leave something on table's edge).  In many ways, our dogs are like dependent children.  But, what they give us in return is huge.

Let's start off with unconditional love; dogs are great teachers.  That certain wagging of the tail that just says, "I'm so happy to see you !"  The touch of that wet nose and small lick that tells us our canine pal is here for us, and being close by when we are sick.  The barking to let us know danger can be present. And then there is that certain smile from our doggies that says, "Dude, you are so cool!"  We need to remember that even though a dog will not be with you all of your life, he will be with you for all of his. Make it a good life.  

No other animal can give humans this kind of unconditional support.  Hell, some dogs even act like they are human.  That is why Sandra and I are adopting Jack.

Jack is just two years young and was fostered by our daughter and her family for most of those two years. He is a Llewellyn Setter who was born blind in one eye (Jack is not just blind, but is missing his entire right eye).  Now, Jack is a part of the Ungerlands. He will be one spoiled pooch.

                                                   Copyright @2013 Terry Unger  

When Your Accuser Is Wrong

We humans have strange ways of communicating.  And in cyber-space, it appears that these ways have not only increased, but have morphed into the seemingly incredulous.  Some folks, who are silent in the real world, when on-line, gain the cyber equivalent of "beer muscles."  That said, there is one thing that doesn't change; when a person accuses you of something based on hearsay, another's opinion, and half-truths.

This happens to all of us.  In the real world, instead of coming to you and asking, "Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot (WTF), the offended chooses to sever all ties with you.  You are not given the chance to defend yourself, unless you decide to pursue the issue against whatever accusation was laid upon you by a third party (who just may have a personal agenda).  Personally, those who do not come to me and ask what the hell is going on I do not bother to pursue them, let alone the issue.  Eventually, they will discover the truth.  This in the real world.  Plus, what kind of "real friend" can these people be?  Cyber-space has similar characteristics but they are over the top, and almost down-right hilarious; I  do not pursue them.

So, how many of your "friends" on Facebook, Twitter, etc. do you know, in the personal sense.  How many of them have you touched, hugged, or kissed, physically?  With how many of them have you shared a pot of coffee?  And more importantly, how many of them have your shared fears, tears, and beers?  In the case of plain-Jane cyber-friends, the answer is zero.  Your cyber-friends are not much more than images created by the binary number system.  So, what if these people decide to flush you as a "friend?"  Not a problem - they hell with them.  Maybe, just maybe, they do not exist in the real world of flesh, bones, and blood; this is where it counts.

People need to develop real person to person relationships.  The cyber world exists for as long as electricity lasts.  I am not implying that one day the power will end, just that real friendship does not need electricity.  

                                               Copyright @ 2013/2015 Terry Unger

Respect

As human beings who sit at the top of the food and evolutionary chain of life, we should have respect for all things.  I love a good steak, but I am aware of the sacrifice made for me to enjoy it while nourishing my body.  That steer did not voluntarily give up its' life so I could enjoy it.  It just did not.  The steer did not think or say, "Terry needs meat, therefore I will sacrifice myself for him."  On the contrary, it hated its' death - because no living thing wants to die. This awareness of mine, though it may seem gross to some, makes me appreciate what I have to eat.  I had the same awareness when I hunted deer, rabbit, and pheasants for food.  Having respect for all things in this world is a good thing, but I take umbrage to so many young people who demand of their elders that we earn their respect before they give it to us.  What rubbish.  Here I go again on waxing on the past.

When, as a young sprout who sat on his father's, grandfather's, and uncle's knee, I never questioned their words.  These guys were my elders, and through experience, they knew much more than I did.  They have my respect, and always will.  Unfortunately, many of the young folks today demand that the older folks prove to them their worthiness, to be judged by the young, to garner their respect.  This is out and out bullshit.  It stems from the young believing that the older generations, starting with their parents, are the source of their collective heart-ache.  This is nothing more than trying to put the blame for your own failed expectations on someone else.  You are the masters of your fate.  Nobody else.  To those who espouse to this belief (blaming another, whether you believe it or not), I tell you now that it's time to put on your big boy pants and grow up.  Unless your elder is a convicted pedophile or mass killer, what is the problem?  If this was the case, it's him/her, not you.  And heed this - the young who ignore the past by turning a deaf ear to their elders are condemned to repeat it, in all its modern forms.  Suck on that lollipop.

                                                 Copyright @2013/2016 Terry Unger

  

Connected, Tuned In, and Tuned Out

Don't get me wrong, I think that modern technology is awesome.  To have the ability to video chat and more with friends and relatives thousands of miles away in real time is something that Alexander Graham Bell could only dream about.  For a man like Bell, it would be the extreme in science fiction.  And let's not forget about Facebook.  It gives a pre-geezer like me the opportunity to keep tabs on the grand-kids.  It's amazing how much I can find out about them that they will not tell me; please do not tell them - they just might "unfriend" me!  Well, all this modern technology is really swell, but can its' use be excessive at times?  Are there times when we should "put it down" and take a breather from it?  I think so.

At least five times a week I pound out my 5K routine on a tread mill at a local gym.*  It never fails that I am usually flanked on both sides by people using their smart phones.  Although these folks start out listening to music, the inevitable happens:  they receive at least one phone call.  Personally, I don't give a hoot about the problems that they are trying to solve with the person at the other end; it's none of my business.  Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that exercise also is meant to help a person decompress and relax from life's stress.  Getting lost in one's heart rate and respiration becomes a moot point when you bring the office to the gym.  

A vacation is supposed to be a time to get away from it all.  Taking your smart phone with you to stay "connected" to work and various social media, in my opinion, is not just silly but contrary to what a vacation is supposed to be.  A vacation, whether it be an hour at the gym or a month at the beach cannot be a break from your routine if you are still tied to it with a smart phone.  You need to relax and unwind, so leave the phone at home where it can ring its' ass off in a desk drawer.  It will be there when you return, after you have discovered that it's a good thing to get away from it all.  But what the hell, I am a hopeless romantic who likes to lose himself in his own heart rate and respiration.  

                                                     Copyright @2013 Terry Unger   

* Since this post was published, I blew out my knee.  I am a candidate for knee replacement.  Running is out of the question, but I can bike, and do about 10 miles a day.  Now the only people I see using a smart phone are driving automobiles.