On Anguish, Grief, and Loss

A wallet with contents lost can be replaced.  With insurance, automobiles and homes after loss suffered can be and are replaceable.  Even fortunes gained and then lost can be replaced with planning and the right daring - do.  But the loss of a loved one, especially a child, is something that cannot be replaced.  It is as if the Midgard Serpent, Jormungandr, surrounds the human heart and squeezes the life from you.  Though sometimes, if we read the Lore literally, comfort and guidance can be found.  Balder died.  

The Bright and Beautiful One, thought invincible, was murdered (the actual physical action) by one believed to be capable of nothing.  The murder was unexpected and it was a shock.  

All-Father Odin believed that Balder's death was the greatest blow ever dealt to Gods and men; Odin and Frigg were heavy with grief.  At his funeral, Balder's wife Nanna, so grieved him that she dropped dead on the spot and then joined him on his funeral pyre.  And Balder's brother Hermod failed in his mission to gain easy release from Hel (we all go to Hel, even if for a brief period).  The Nine Worlds suffered not just from Balder's death, but from the Gods' lack of attention; the Multiverse was filled with grief.  But when Odin and Frigg reached a certain point in their suffering, they knew it was time to return to their godly responsibilities.  Following this example the other Gods returned to work.  This point can be called acceptance.  

Balder will remain in his spacious Hall within Hel until the aftermath of Ragnarok is wiped clean - a new beginning for the Nine Worlds.  Nothing can be done to alter this situation.  Balder is not coming back.  Odin and Frigg accepted this fact and returned to their godly business.  

This acceptance does not mean that they as parents do not still grieve.  It does not mean that their pain is gone or that they have forgotten their beautiful son.  It means that they have embraced the loss along with the still accompanying anguish, grief, and heart squeezing pain.  

This is a hard example to follow for anyone who has lost a child.  It is painful; letting go seems like forever.  As time moves on, the life of the lost child seems almost surreal, but it is not.  The dull pain and sense of  loss persist.  It does not leave.  But to muddle through and find joy and happiness in other things, one must follow the example of All-Father and Mother Frigg - as hard as that may be. 

          In Loving Memory of Erik "the Red" Terrysson.  Gone to Soon but Not Ever Forgotten.  

                                                  Copyright @2017 Terry Unger

  

Be Wary of the Old Man

He may seem a bit senile to you, as he sits on his porch and sips beer  from a long neck bottle.  You may notice the slight limp in his gait as he walks his dog.  And, you cannot control your giggle as he adjusts his hearing aid to hear if you spoke of anything important.  But the old man did not get this old by being stupid.  

The old man witnessed the birth of his children and delights in watching his grandchildren grow.  But the old man has also buried more family and friends than he cares to discuss.  The old man knows about loss.  

He lost one job or more and went out and found others; and money lost due to poor planning. The old man celebrated a few victories but they were made bitter sweet by more failures.  At this point in his life, the old man knows how not to lose.  And, he will fight to keep what he has, right down to the beer he sips from a long neck bottle on his porch.  

It is a foolish thing to count the old man out of the game.  Far from it.  He is still an active player.  He has the experience, gained over decades of loss and small victories to know how not to lose.  Try and take from the old man what is his - he will come at you like a junk yard dog.  Because, he knows how and will not lose sleep over it.  Years of experience far outweigh a few years of being on the honor role.  If you try, when the dust settles, the old man will go back to his porch and sip beer from long neck bottles.  The beer will taste especially good to him as he watches you limp off the scene.  

You may feel offended.  For what?  You started an altercation and were bested - you lost.  An altercation best avoided if you showed the old man respect.  Not just the respect due his age, but the obvious respect due his decades of experience.  What part of "respect your elders" is lost on you? Since when on this planet did youth have all the hard and tough answers?  The lessons learned from some pain and suffering?   The experience that can be shared, passed on, but once pissed on, sharing anything with you is likely lost.  This shit happens when political correctness and multiculturalism are followed.  You lose.  You lose your culture, your heritage, and your personal identity while your Ancestors shed tears over your poor choices.  Now the old man will laugh at you, as he sits on his porch and sips beer from long neck bottles.  

                                                  Copyright @2017 Terry Unger  

Urdabrunnr and You

Within the Germanic Lore, Urdabrunnr is Urda's Well, the Well of Wyrd.  Urda and the other two Norns Verdandi and Skuld, daily gather to water the roots of the World Tree with the water from the Well, that is located directly beneath the Tree.  After the watering is complete, the three Norns pack mud around the base of the World Tree to complete their daily task of nourishment and preservation.  It is important to know what that water and mud consist of.   

Cattle die, and kinsmen  die......and so one dies one's self.

But a noble name will never die if good renown one gets.  

(Havamal, verse 77, Bellows translation)

It is a truth spoken when said that our words and deeds are our orlog.  Threads, or planks of our actions, orlog, are woven together creating our wyrd, our destiny.  This all takes place in Urda's Well: our individual wyrd becomes a part of the Waters of Urda's Well.  In so doing, our wyrd becomes interlocked with the wyrd of others.  Yes, our words and actions are effects that affect the lives of others, in the present and future, as does the Wyrd of the past affect us in the present.  Like it or not, this is truth.  It is Wyrd.  The ready example is the Norns taking the Water from the Well and nourishing the World Tree.  And the Tree supports Nine Worlds.  

It is in no way a stretch to think or say that Wyrd, personal and collective, effects generations unborn, especially those connected in a collective DNA chain.  It does.  And in no way is it a stretch to think that, since the World Tree "is watered daily from Urda's Well," that Wyrd, personal and collective also effects the infinite of the Nine Worlds.  It does.  The reverse, that coming from the other Worlds also effects us.  So then, a question waits.  

Should we, at least as individuals, strive to create better orlog/wyrd?  When we shine, so do our Ancestors, descendants, and Gods.  Thus the reason for the Havamal verse above......But a noble name will never die if good renown it gets.  

                                                  Copyright @2017 Terry Unger

                                                          

Single Mindedness

It is the necessary thing to achieve any goal.  Single mindedness is the focus, the action that brings results.  Belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy (a bit of sarcasm) will never accomplish anything in life except unfulfilled desires.  When the bubble finally breaks and the truth revealed, it comes down to plan and execution.  No plan equals nothing fulfilled.  

You cannot expect something from nothing.  A goal must be set and a path to bring fruition plotted out - this is also known as a plan.  The plan must be flexible to accommodate change - because even the best plans will stumble across something not previously considered.  This falls under the heading of "shit happens."  

If single mindedness, unrelenting focus on the plan is used, the plan to reach the goal becomes the purpose of action.  It can easily accommodate the "shit happens" stuff that happens along the path to achieving the goal.  

Living in the 21st century has its distractions but single mindedness, focusing on the plan to bring about the goal and the goal itself can be practiced by meditation and visualization.  Yes, it can be that simple.  But you need to quite yourself and reach within.  This requires putting down the gaming controls, turning off the television, and muting the smart phone - for 15 minutes a day.  Santa, the Bunny, and some Fairy may have brought you all of those mind numbing electronics, but they sure as hell will not plan your plan bring it to fruition.  That's up to you.  So practice single mindedness, soon.  

                                                    Copyright @2017 Terry Unger   

   

The Waters of Wyrd

Many folks, those deeply enmeshed in materialism, believe themselves to be invincible.  This feeling of invincibility usually is coupled with the feeling of "I am like Teflon, nothing sticks to me."  Not only is this a false assumption but one that could be deadly.  

Words and deeds (action) lay down our personal threads of Orlog within Urd's well of living waters.  And our Orlog becomes intertwined with that of others; Wyrd is formed and cannot be escaped.  Wyrd will be experienced by you the person, your family, and possibly your descendants.  Depending on the working out of Wyrd, the experience can be sweet, bittersweet, or down right bitter for yourself and all involved - past actions can haunt or reward.  Within this vein, how we think about time is important.   

In our world it is unfortunate that the linear concept of time (from Pythagoras, Augustine, and ultimately Christianity) is considered the only way "life within time" is to be had.  Linear time keeps the  past in the past - something to forget; it has little or no influence on the present or the future.  The present (as it moves in a straight line away from the past toward the future) is the current "now," while the future is unformed, unknown, and rather nebulous.  So the person moves through these three distinct and separate parts in a straight line - past, present, and future (the emphasis lies with "distinct and separate parts" and "in a straight line").  While my redundancy is intentional, Ancient Heathen worldview treats time and life differently.

Our Ancestors thought that nothing is static, everything is in some way connected, and is in some form of constant cyclical movement - an evolving state of Total Being.  So the past is a part of the present, and the orlog placed in the Well in the present is added to that of the past.  The future then, is not a separate ethereal thing, but something evolving and a part of the past and present.  Your words and deeds create Orlog and your Orlog shapes your Wyrd.  A person cannot escape his Wyrd or change it.  However, how you handle it when the time comes to face it makes a difference.  Below is a great example.

Many folks find watching birds at high altitudes a beautiful thing.  We watch them glide back and forth, seemingly at will.  Not quite.  The bird is dependent on the air currents - it determines their glide pattern.  The bird cannot change any particular air current but adapts to it so it may glide through it.  We humans cannot change our individual Wyrd, but like the bird we can adapt and face it when it comes due.  So this question must be asked - Hey there cupcake, what kind of guarantee did you get with that Teflon?  

Copyright Terry 2017/2018 Terry Unger All Rights Reserved

                                                 

Taking Care of Business - Part 2

Author's Note:  In part one of Taking Care of Business the true purpose of life insurance was discussed.  You do not insure life, you assure income.  You assure/insure that income against loss just like you insure your home or car against loss.  Again, I am not a financial agent of any stripe.  What I write about is drawn from various periodicals.  But know this .........

These things are necessary to protect your family.  If you expect another person to shoulder your burden or the government to support your family, you are deluded.  Especially in this age.  

Drawing up a Will, a Last Will and Testament keeps a variety of wolves from your Estate's door.  Within the Will, you name an Executor. And, the Will lays out how you want your Estate dispersed.  The Executor is in charge of fulfilling the wishes you put forth in the Will - who gets what and when.  Usually spouses will name each other as their Executor. The next choice is an adult child you trust.   

Dying intestate, without a Will, can be a real pain in the ass.  The government, AKA the courts can take over your Estate.  They will determine who gets what of your stuff.....this can take years and can cost big bucks in legal fees and court costs to your potential heirs.  This nightmare happens when one spouse dies and the survivor does nothing (do not rely on the idea that jointly held property cannot be touched).  There is more.  Life should be so simple............

A Durable Power of Attorney is necessary to take care of your finances when you are not capable of doing so.  Like paying your bills.  Usually, spouses will name each other for this responsibility or a responsible adult child.  Then again, it is not uncommon for an outsider with no vested interest to be named as Power of Attorney.  Whether you are on a 6 months cruise or lying in a hospital bed, bills need to be paid.  This need is greatly magnified when it is an individual in need.  

A Medical Power of Attorney appoints an individual to make medical decisions for you when you cannot.  The appointment is similar to the above.  However, care must be taken.  The person you choose for this position should agree with your point of view.  This is something not to be taken lightly.  

A Living Will states your final intentions about yourself - if dying, let me die....no resuscitation.  No so-called "heroic" efforts made by the medical establishment with the exception of things needed to keep you "comfortable," AKA, medication for pain.  Or what you want in varying degrees, such as organ donation, one time resuscitation, etc.  

                                                  Copyright @2017 Terry Unger 

Taking Care of Business

We spend a lot of time prepping.  We prep for hurricanes, snowstorms, BBQ's, and the Zombie Apocalypse.  We prep to insure that when we leave this world we do so with our name in good stead.  But when our Wyrd and Orlog demand our last breath have we "prepped" to leave our loved ones in good condition?  Or financially destitute and borderline homeless?  Fidelity, self-reliance, and one's personal honor scream out a very loud NO to the former questions.  Know this:  the flowers of youth wither and die.  

It is common for youth to disavow death - youth seems like it will never end.  But it does.  Along the road between birth and death we acquire responsibilities.  Like a spouse, children, and property.  All of which must be protected.  We can protect our loved ones and property by force.  But we must also protect against unexpected death and financial loss.  

No person living knows their date with death.  As written above, youth tends to dismiss death as something that is "not gonna happen to me, cause I'm gonna live forever!"  The sobering fact is - no, you will not.  Some of this attitude diminishes after nuptials.  This can be for many the beginning of the awareness of responsibility.  From this point, responsibility just increases.  Children and the acquisition of property, both real and personal, happen.  So Northern Soul, what should you do?  

The first step that needs to be taken to protect your loved ones and property is insurance.  Insure your personal property that if loss occurs, you will be "made whole," put back into the position you were before the loss.  The next step some folks find extremely humorous, but I assure you, it is far from funny.  Unfortunately, it's still labeled "life insurance."  

It is ridiculous to assume that a life can be "insured."  It is simply preposterous.  Yes, some Hollywood types have "insured" various parts of their body.  But, here is the but.  They have insured those body parts in the same manner that the average Joe insures his house or car.  Period.  You cannot insure a life but you can ASSURE AN INCOME.  This is accomplished with dirt cheap term insurance.  

Starting with the main "bread winner," multiply the yearly earnings by 10, then add 20%.  Use this example:  $50,000.00 annual income,multiplied by 10 = $500,000.00.  When 20% is added, you came up with $600,000.00.  This "death benefit" is invested at 8 - 10 percent to provide monthly income for the surviving spouse and children.  In my opinion, term insurance makes this affordable.  We are far from done.  The "other" spouse must be considered.  

Traditionally, the "other spouse" was the female component of the marriage.  Today, it could be the man.  In any event, income in any form must be considered.  If the other spouse draws a paycheck, you can follow the formula above.  Should the "other" be a  stay at home mom/dad, you bet your heathen ass it must be taken into account.  

Who does the wash?  The dishes?  Cleans the house and takes care of the kids?  Who cooks and shops for the necessaries, runs errands, and picks the kids up from school?  The other spouse.  When you take into account that this is at least a 12 hour -a -day job, it certainly is meaningful.  From a monetary point of view, consider this:  12 hours a day, 7 days a week = 84 hours.  If $10.00/hr. is paid, that is $840.00/wk.  That's at straight time, no overtime considered.  You can argue with me as much as you want about the hourly rate.  But a domestic engineer needs to be compensated.  This real "homework" must be taken into consideration, regardless of the paycheck status of either spouse.  

Northern Soul, this is just the a part of your responsibility.  More will follow.  Do you really think that others, or the government will care for your loved ones?  Not so.  The fidelity to your family, the passing on of self-reliance, and your personal honor demands that you do so.  This is taking care of business.  

Author's Note:  I am not a financial planner.  All of the above is my personal opinion based on the reading of various periodicals over a period of time.  

                                                 Copyright @2017 Terry Unger