On Friends, Family, And Getting Back On A Road Less Traveled

There are those people out there who have rather quickly foisted the title of "friend" upon your shoulders.  They number among those of whom "another friend" brought with them to some sort of social gathering you had the unfortunate opportunity of hosting.  Both of these types of friends are leeches; they came for the free booze.  And, they will take from you whatever they can and will give nothing in return.  When you need a real friend, when you have hit the wall full speed, those "friends" are lost in the mists of, " I don't know you....I cannot be bothered now."  Make no mistake - these are the people who will go to your funeral, not to pay their respects, but to freely eat and drink at your wake.  We cannot choose our family but can choose our friends.  Chose wisely; it's not like quickly choosing a cold domestic beer to quench your thirst.  Rather, it's more like choosing a fine wine to accompany an awesome meal.

The days of cementing a contract on a handshake have passed through the cracks about the same time the phrase, " You want fries with that," became a part of our national lexicon.  The times we live in have taken away the trust of friendship and replaced it with the art of making the deal - at all costs.  And, this attitude has extended into the heart of the family.  It sure as hell wasn't always like this.

Back in the day when we used rotary telephones (remember those things? Throw them against a concrete wall and they still worked.  No batteries required.), telephone booths (no grasshopper, they were not just something for Superman to change in), and held a healthy respect for the other guy and our parents, it was a rare thing for someone to get shafted over a few bucks.  Yes, it happened but again, it was rare.  Out of respect for the other guy, people just did not do that kind of stuff.  Now it happens over and over again in the workplace, the neighborhood, and the family.

The Christian Right talks a lot about family values.  But in my opinion, some of those "values" appear to foster what was written about above.  Maybe because those values are man-made interpretations of what is supposedly the divine word of their God.  When put to use, a wink of an eye can twist them to bring about some bent human desires.  And when a book that contains the supposed infallible word of a deity is used as a balance scale, it's easy to load up the other side and be justified with the result.  Being the chosen people of a book must be a relief for them - no need to think on their own.  Just saying.  At least when we were using rotary phones, respecting the other guy was something that was inherently understood and not something that we needed to be reminded about, like in our times today.

It's time for us to get on the road that takes us back to mutual respect.  This does not mean that we should rid ourselves of our current technology, like some would have us do.  What I am trying to say is that we need to house-clean our minds and make some serious attitude adjustments.  Along the way, we can re-discover courage honor, and truth.  We will learn industriousness, genuine hospitality, and fidelity.  Moreover, we will be filled with self-reliance, discipline  and have the perseverance to meet and finish any of life's challenges.  Food, clothing, and shelter lets us survive; we need more.  To thrive we need the above nine virtues.  Then again, maybe, a handshake can bind a contract.     

                                                   Copyright @2012 Terry Unger









       

Like My Daddy Used To Say.......

Growing up, my father, uncles, and grandfathers told me many things.  Some of those things were/are down right hilarious, especially when a live visual was provided.  Here are a few:

Like my Daddy used to say, " Preachers and lawyers have a few things in common.  One of those things - both are liars."  Daddy had more to say about these two sub-species but it's not fit to print.

................ " Money is the one sure thing that gets stuff done.  Don't kid yourself, it is.  Any doubts about that, ask any rich bastard what he needs more of."

............... " Don't trust anyone who does not drink alcohol.  They're hiding something."

............... " Don't trust anyone who doesn't eat meat.  They're not normal.  Maybe they're space aliens."

.............. " Don't believe anyone that tells you they are not prejudiced.  Those people are the most prejudiced of all."

.............. " Stay away from women that go to church every Sunday.  What they are looking for you don't have and what they have, you don't want.  Unless you want to go to church every Sunday."

.............. " You go to school to learn some things.  You put those things to use in your backyard."

.............. " Save your money; in coffee cans, milk cans, or tin cans.  Be wary of bankers."

............. " A fool follows his own path to winning an academy award for best actor in a comedy. "

............ " Don't trust anyone whose never been drunk.  Those people have no idea how to really make fools of themselves.  They want you to do it for them, and then blame you for all the troubles in their lives.  Let them fall on their faces all by themselves.  Sit back and enjoy the show."

                                                 Copyright @ 2012 Terry Unger




 

Sunday Reflections

At my age, I have discovered how little I know and understand about anything.  Now, I listen more, and talk less.  Now, I read more, and still speak less; the silence has its golden edges.  I meditate harder now, and stare into the comfort of darkness.  If truly the gods of my fathers exist, I shall meet them there.  When spoken by some, words become finite and in some cases, empty.  The children hold many answers before they grow up.  When you assume that you hold universal truths to be self-evident, you discover black holes of self-delusion.  Maybe holding on to that star-struck wonder of a child is a good thing.  Fools follow their own path to winning an academy award.

                                              Copyright @ 2012 Terry Unger

Lessons From Oz

On a really bad day in Kansas, little Dorothy and her dog Toto had a rough time with a tornado.  As the story goes, Dorothy meets up with three questionable characters:  a Scarecrow, a Tin Man, and a Cowardly Lion.  The Scarecrow felt that he did not have a brain.  The Tin Man believed that he was missing a heart.  And the Lion thought that he lacked courage.  All three of these characters wanted the one thing that they believed was missing in their lives.  Through a series of events, the trio discovered that they already possessed what they individually coveted.  Their self-discovery happened when they decided to help Dorothy, to forge ahead regardless of the obstacles.    

We do not have to get sucked up and taken to some mystical place to know that we have a brain to think, a heart to care, and the courage to carry out our life plans.  These are things that we have - now.  Wise use of these three is what conquers all obstacles.  It's the stuff of myth and legend.

                                               Copyright @2012 Terry Unger

                                                       

Caught In the Middle....Again

I really hate to be the referee in an argument between friends; both expect you to take their side.  And either way, you lose.  In my opinion, the best thing to do is to avoid these spats.  However as a voter, I am in the middle of another four year spat and and cannot avoid my civic duty.  Yes, in the middle of another argument, but not between friends, political rivals.  And in truth, how many politicians are the voter's friend?  In a few days the general election will be here and making the choice, at least for me  is done.  And that choice was made by not considering the candidate's good points but rather, choosing who I think will present the least harm for me and my country.  And, that was tough.  An incumbent has a past record of doing some things that can be sugar-coated beyond recognition.  The challenger takes pot shots at the incumbent's record in the hope that that sugar will melt with the heat of his barrages.  And all the while the challenger has the fend of attacks concerning his personal life.  Personally, I don't give a hoot about what the candidate does in his bedroom or what religion he follows.  My concern is how well he will govern.  What's so sad?  The candidates are not the best America has to offer.  This is also true on the state and local levels.  Money, yours or someone else's, is a major factor in not just who runs for elective office, but also who wins.  And, what must be included in this process is how much of your soul you are willing to sell to get elected.  If you look at the candidate's work experience before running for elective office, you will find that many of them are lawyers.  Somehow, I don't think that our Founding Fathers, the framers of the Constitution, ever dreamed that our country would ever be run by a bunch of reincarnated used car salesmen and snake-oil hucksters.

                                                 Copyright @2012 Terry Unger             

Losing My Religion and Sanity

It's hard for me to wrap my head around things that are totally illogical and lack any form of common sense.  Formalized religion, the three Abrahamic faiths in particular, just blow me away.  How can a just and loving god do all that killing?  When I read the verses that sanctioned those actions, I thought that they were referring to a drugged out, errant teenager.  Maybe I'm just too stupid, open minded, or just not vulnerable  to the taste of the Kool-aid.  When you tell me that something is supposedly divine and is also complete and absolute, I expect perfection.  And if that divinity is perfect, then it cannot be anything but total love and acceptance, regardless of human faults.  But, according to those three faith paths, that is not the case.  They have rules and those rules affect every aspect of human behavior.  Step over the line - you are in trouble.  But for some folks who have stepped over that line, the trouble for them is huge.

Case in point:  Fourteen year old Malala Yousufzai, a Pakistani girl, was shot in the head by the Taliban.  Her "crime?"  She advocated education for women.  Malala was shot by the same guys who rape and burn women to death at will.  These are the same guys who destroyed, as the world watched, Buddhist shines in Afghanistan over a decade ago.  But for them it's OK, because they can find justification for their actions within their religion.  Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, Christianity found justification for the murder of thousands of men and women within their canon and religion - it was called the Inquisition.  History tends to repeat itself.  It's time for the West to wake up to what's really going on in the world and to take a strong stand for freedom.


                                             Copyright @2012 Terry Unger    

Preserved or Pickled ?

As a lad in my late teens, I was never "carded" when I bought beer.  At that time, I lived only a few miles from the Pennsylvania/New Jersey state line, and since the legal drinking age in Jersey was 18, going over the bridge to Jersey was more than a right of passage.  It was called - Saturday Night.  Only the uninitiated went through the toll gates on route 22 and then back again.  On the return trip, they were cheerfully greeted by Pennsylvania State Troopers who warmly welcomed them home.  The more seasoned lads used the free bridge that connected downtown Easton, PA. with Phillipsburg  N.J. ; no toll fees and no police.  And we always went to the same store.  I guess the guy figured that taking money from Pennsy kids was just as good as taking money from Jersey kids.  After all, it was Saturday Night.  

Strange things happen with the passing of time.

Several weeks ago I was reminded that the virus that causes chicken-pox as a child hangs around and can bless you with shingles as an older adult.  Not having a desire to deal with shingles, I found a local pharmacy that offered the vaccination.  I stepped up to the counter and made my request only to be politely told that I needed to be over 50 to receive the vaccine.  My reply was the truth; I am well over 50.  The druggist caught wind of my banter with his young clerk and asked me if there was a problem.  Again polite - this is Texas.  I said no, that I just wanted a shingles vaccination.  He repeated his clerk's words almost verbatim and also asked to see my insurance info and photo ID.  Since I wanted the shot, compliance with his request was not an issue.  At his first glance, the guy thought that I had given him a fake ID.  Well, those pictures on driver's licenses always look bad.  Thankfully, he was able to confirm my age with my insurance company.  As he gave me the injection, he apologized for assuming that I was, ah.......too young.  Not to worry, I said, it's all in the genes.  But I wonder:  if I started to drink single malt scotch back in the day in stead of beer, would I look like a teenager today?  Just wondering.

The above is all true and a bit funny but shingles is not a laughing matter.  If you are over 50, had chicken-pox and reading this, check with your doctor, get your butt out the door, and get the vaccination.

                                                  Copyright @2012 Terry Unger

Since I first published this post, the issue of voter I.D. has become a hot button issue.  Here in Texas, that is the rule.  I needed I.D. for the vaccination; not a problem.  When we travel within the continental U.S. , we need a photo I.D. to confirm and pay for our hotel; again, not a problem.  The real blast came this past holiday season.  Because the charge card total was over $100.00, we were asked for photo I.D.  That was a problem.  We were told that was store policy.  The hair on the back of my neck stood up like a porcupine's.  The demand for the manager left my lips, and he repeated what the cashier originally told us.  When agitated, I can be vocal.  The crowds that filled the space around the checkout lanes heard exactly how I felt about I.D.  Thankfully, we live in Texas, where photo I.D. is required to vote.